How to Save a Life
by One Fujoshi Otaku Among Many
Summary: Song fic with 'How to Save a Life' by The Frey. Warnings: slash, angst, character death. EDIT: Second chapter with explanations.
1. Chapter 1

**Step one you say we need to talk**

**He walks you say sit down it's just a talk**

"_Tugger, we need to talk." The Rum Tum Tugger looked up at his boyfriend of the past three years in surprise. Mistoffelees' face was set, and he seemed a bit sad. Tugger stood up and followed the conjurer into their den, quickly racking his brain to try and figure out what he might have done that had prompted this, and what Misto was going to say. _

"_Sit down, please." Apparently, Tugger's confusion and worry was plain on his face, because Misto gave him a quick, small smile. "Don't worry, I just want to talk." _

**He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through**

_Tugger smiled at Misto, but the younger tom just stared at him for a moment. Tugger's smiled faded and his worry returned. _

"_Misto?" He said quietly. "What's wrong?"_

_Misto paused, and bit hiss lip lightly. "I-I would appreciate it if you would stop flirting."_

"_Huh? Why? You know that it means nothing to me. It never does, unless I'm flirting with you. Why do you want me to stop?"_

"_It-it doesn't matter, I just would like you to stop. Not the performing you do for the kittens, but when you flirt with the queens...I would like it if you stop that."_

**Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came**

_Tugger shook his head, still not understanding. "But why? We've been together for three years and you never said anything before, why do you want me to stop now?"_

"_I've already said it doesn't matter, so just do it please!" Misto shook his head and Tugger stared at him with confusion. _

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

Tugger stared blankly straight ahead, not wanting to believe what had just happened. Why, oh why hadn't he done something, _anything_ differently? If he had, maybe this could have ended differently.

**Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best**

"_Look, Misto, love, you're confusing me. Why now? You've been okay with it for the past three years, so why do you want me to stop now? You already know that I'm staying faithful, which is a lot more then everyone else expected, so I don't understand this. It's just a little harmless flirting." _

"_Look, it doesn't matter why I'm asking now, or why I'm asking at all, I just would like you to do this for me. Please."_

"_...Alright. I'll try. However, I can't make any promises, at least not right away."_

**Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence**

_Misto stared at him for a moment, then sighed. "Alright. I guess that will do for now." _

_Tugger frowned, watching his lover move about the den. After a moment, he sighed himself. _

"_Are you jealous?" Misto paused, blinking at the abrupt question. He slowly set down the small vase he had been carrying._

"_...Well?"_

_Still no answer._

"_Misto, are you alright?"_

"_Of course. Why wouldn't I be."_

**Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you**

"_You haven't been eating enough, you're trying to distance yourself from everyone, you've been acting a bit strange these past few weeks...you're starting to worry everyone. And I'm scared for you."_

"_Why?"_

"_Misto, haven't I told you? You've done something no one else has-captured the heart of the Rum Tum Tugger and kept it. I love. What you're doing to yourself...it's scaring me. Are you alright?"_

"_I told you, I'm fine. I need to go do some things. See you later."_

"_Misto..." But the black and white tuxedo was already gone. _

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

Tugger blinked as his vision blurred. A second later, a feeling of wetness slid down both cheeks and he realized he was crying. Slowly, he sank to his knees and mourned the loss of the one he loved with his entire heart.

**As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice**

"_I TOLD YOU I'M FINE!" Tugger pulled back in shock, staring at the back of the bristling tom in front of him. He knew that something was up with Misto, but he hadn't expected his lover to yell at him when he asked. Slowly, he stepped forward, carefully wrapping his arms around Mistoffelees' waist and pulling the young tom close to him, speaking quietly._

"_No you aren't, Misto love. You're snapping at everyone, and you're health is getting worse. I was hoping that it would pass quickly, but I don't think it will. You can either tell me or I'll ask Coricopat and Tantomile." Misto stiffened in shock._

**Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
****He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came**

"_Don't." The tuxedo pulled away from the tall maned tom. Tugger blinked at him._

"_Tux?" Misto winced at the pet name that only Tugger had ever used, and his eyes began to fill with tears._

"_Don't ask Cori and Tanto, and don't ask me. I can't tell you and I won't let them. It doesn't matter."_

"_Yes it does, and if-"_

"_Look, Tugger, I can't do this anymore. I'm really sorry, and I wish I could think of another way, but I think it would be best if we went our separate ways. I'm really sorry. Good bye." Misto walked off, leaving a shocked and hurt Tugger. _

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
**

Tugger looked up at the moon, shining brightly in the sky. His face twisted painfully and he looked away. It shouldn't be shining at all. Not with what had just happened. He stood shakily and walked off, knowing what he needed to find and determined to find it fast. Tears were still flowing freely down his face.

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life**

"_I don't understand, Munkus. There is absolutely no reason for it. None at all! I'm telling you, something is wrong with Mistoffelees!" Tugger looked up at his adopted brother, willing the silver tabby to believe him. He had stumbled around the less populated parts of the Yard in shock for hours, until he had shaken himself out of it and gone to find the Protector. He knew that there was no reason for Misto to break up with him, so he was now more convinced them ever that something was wrong with the small tuxedo. _

"_I can certainly tell that something is wrong...Do you know where Misto is now? I'll see if Cori and Tanto can-" _

"_MUNKUSTRAP!" Both toms stared at Pouncival as he ran in, crying and tripping over himself with a look of panic on his face. "Munkus, you need to come now! It's Mistoffelees!" He ran off, with both toms right behind him. _

_It didn't take long to reach their destination, but immediately Tugger wished that he was far, far away. For right in front of him, staring at the horrified Tribe, was Mistoffelees._

_Tugger felt as if the ground had dropped from under his feet as he stared in horror at his lover. Misto's beautiful, bright green eyes stared from over the rope around his neck, glazed and unseeing. Alonzo held up a piece of paper covered with writing in shaking paws, staring in horror at his dead half-brother. He looked at Munkustrap with vacant eyes, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. _

"Misto killed himself."

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
**

It didn't take Tugger too long to find a sharp piece of glass, big enough to suit his needs. Carefully, he carried it back to his and Misto's..._his_ den. He chocked back more tears at this, needing to be dry eyed for what he was about to do. Setting the glass lovingly on the bed, he sat down at a small desk he and Misto had found when they first claimed this den. Tugger ran his hand gently along it, sadly remembering all of the wonderful times he had shared with his lover. With his mate.

He quickly wrote what he needed to, leaving the letter prominently on the desk, then walked over to the bed. He picked up the glass, then sat down on the bed. Two quick movements of his wrists later and his vision began to blur again. However, instead of clearing, this time it began to fade to blackness. Tugger fell backwards, blinking once and focusing on a picture of him and Misto. Tugger had snuck up on the conjurer and surprised him with a kiss. Victoria had snagged a photo of a very surprised Misto and a very smug Tugger. Tugger smiled sadly.

'_Don't worry, love. I won't be heartbroken for much longer...'_

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life **

When Tugger opened his eyes, all he could see was mist. There was literally nothing else. He looked around, slightly worried, and was about to take a step forward when an incredulous, yet very familiar voice stopped him.

"Tugger?" The maned tom turned with a smiled, taking two large steps and quickly closing the distance, wrapping his arms tightly around the black and white conjurer and kissing him thoroughly.

"Hey Tux. It would have been far too boring back in the Yard without you, so I decided to come join you. I left a small note for the Tribe so they would understand."

Misto opened his mouth, blinked and closed it. His paws glowed briefly, then a small round window opened next to them. In it was a limp Tugger laying on the bed in what had been their den, blood still dripping from his slit wrists. The maned tom grimaced, looking at himself, then he shrugged. A few moments later, Munkustrap, Bombalurina and Demeter were crowded in his den, staring in horror at their dead friend. Munkus noticed the letter on the desk, and picked it up. He read it, then looked up.

"Oh, little brother, we're going to miss you. You and Misto both." Slowly, he let the letter drop to the ground, hugging both queens as they cried. The window focused on the letter.

_Hey everyone. Yeah, I know, you're probably going to be mad at me for doing this, and so soon after Misto, but it's for the best. You really wouldn't want me around now, trust me. I'm happier now, and we'll come back. Eventually. See ya later, not sure when, don't look for me. Or Misto...Just be patient. _

_Tugger out. For good. _Sto arrivando, la mia anima gemella.


	2. Explanations

Okay, I couldn't really fit the reason for Misto's attitude change in the fic, so I'll post this to clear that up. Basically, what happened was Misto was being taken over by an evil force. However, a small portion of the original him was still alive, so that bit of him was trying to stop the evil from killing anyone by pushing them away, and later, by killing himself.

Also, in case anyone was wondering, '_Sto arrivando, la mia anima gemella' _is Italian for 'I'm coming, my soulmate.' :)

I hope that clears everything up!

Insane Tara, 'till insanity takes over!


End file.
